It’s time for a word..

Soo.. It is time we talk, folks. There’s a couple of things that I need to get off my chest, and I might be in need of both a sanity- and reality-check.

So, it’s been two weeks since I started properly streaming again, 1.5 weeks on Twitch and with all the Gecko Swarm announcements, 0.5 week on Mixer (Two or three streams so far). As you hopefully know, I do love me some numbers, so let’s throw some around.

In these 14 days, I have streamed (or VODcasted) on 11, for a total of 52 hours. That is an average of 4.72 hours per day streamed. That’s pretty much 5 hours per stream, which is great. What isn’t as great is that in those 52 hours I only had a total of 188 people take a look at the Stream, with a grand total of 8 Follows on Twitch and 9 on Mixer, most of the former being Geckos or regulars from other streams who only visit sporadically, all of the latter being fellow Geckos.

Of those 188 Unique Visitors, 155 were on Twitch, 54 came from a generous, headache-induced host from Belannaer. The remaining 33 were on Mixer. Chat’s been pretty dead most of the time, seeing how the average Viewer number is 2 point something. And that is where my problems really start.

I am a simple, somewhat bland guy. I’m not the most entertaining, I’m not really that extroverted. I tend to go into autopilot and mutter my thoughts out loud because I’d be silent otherwise. Well, I’ve recently quote-retweeted a tweet about this and said something along the lines “Unneccessay Talk is silver, relevant Talk is golden, and knowing when to just shut up is platin.” While I think that staying silent is not really helping, I am thinking more and more that me muttering my thoughts isn’t any better and I should just shut up if I am just going to mutter my thoughts to myself as that doesn’t seem to keep viewers interested enough to stay, let alone start a conversation. And I usually don’t throw questions towards chat to start a conversation when it is dead because I’d just feel like a total fucking idiot if no one answers and it’s just awkward silence on both sides.

While I am trying my best to network.. There’s only so much one can do with the games I play for networking, when there’s usually nobody else streaming it other than people already know and network with or all the streams I decide to check out don’t really mesh with me.

I just.. I don’t know what to do anymore. I am not really experiencing growth and while I have some ideas as to what might play into that.. There’s no chance for feedback. Nobody stays or says a bloody word. It is disheartening. I know things are not going to happen over night. But god fucking damnit, not a single person even saying “hi” other than those that are hopping in semi-regularly? Not even a “Bro, you’re boring” or another troll-y mention? It’s fucking shit talking to a fucking brick wall 95% of the time. It really feels like “I am talking nonsense because no one is here” leading to “People leave because I am talking nonsense” leading to “Chat is dead” leading to point 1, rinse and repeat.

I don’t know how much my game choices influence everything – But seeing how most of them are undermarketed Indies, that your average gamer doesn’t get, because it’s not a shitty BR game with small to nonexistent Directories.. Yeah, great.

I just don’t know what the fuck I am supposed to do anymore. I came back expecting a grind to some extend, but even a grind can be fun. This just isn’t. It blows. Massively.

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